and then I go and spoil it all
by saying something stupid
like “I love you”

i’m tongue-tied and terrified of what i’ll say, but i never told you everything

and then we both go down together
we may stay there forever, i’ll just try to get up
and i’m sorry this wasn’t easy
when i asked you, believe me
you never let go

But I let go.

♥

The rest of the pictures are on Facebook :)

it ain’t pretty when the pretty leaves you

EDIT: I accidentally deleted this post and deleted all of Kevin, Hiro and Priss’s comments.. Sorry :(

-

I was talking to Kevin and Hiro on MSN last night while I was making my peace necklace, so I disappeared for a while to cut and paste stuff. Then Kevin sent me this, with the promise that “it would cheer me up” :

hiro™ © says:
does she reply really quickly?
kevin says:
i dunno, 4am to me is 10am to you i guess
hiro™ © says:
oh right
hiro™ © says:
huh.
hiro™ © says:
i dont get it
kevin says:
there is something called time zones hiro

It made me laugh so hard- I love those two :)

♥

qi is sooo cute :)

:) :) :) hehehe

School on Friday was really good :) The only thing was in the morning, after we had that stupid talk by the principal. It made me realise (again) how many of my good friends are leaving. In 5 fucking months, I’ll never see any of them ever again, unless they come back to visit but everybody knows things won’t be the same. And it’s not only the year4s who are leaving but the year6s, too :( Luckily I could talk about it with Marcus before class started.. Thanks Smexy :) Sorry I was being so self-pitiying and useless. And you’re right- Everything you said was true. But it’s so hard to accept it.. I don’t want to let go of these people, especially not the ones I love the most.

During English Kyk and Jackey were raping my hair.. Sticking pens through it and tying a ribbon on. It was so hard to take the pens out so I just left them in for the rest of the day. Oh and during lunch, when we invaded Liz’s table.. Hahaha. Hilarious :) Those boys can make me laugh no matter what.

look at the difference! now vs. then..

YEAPHAN’S BACKKKKK hahah :)

Liz and I went for rugby for the first time in forever. It was awesome! I love rugby. While we were playing a game Liz and I created this new move which we do whenever someone ( ie. Su-en) scores a try. We showed Hans and Edward but they couldn’t stop laughing at us.. And Ian and Sean and Rachel but they just gave us the “you are a retard” face but it’s OK! :)

Family Fiesta today! :)

maybe life is a song, but you’re scared to sing along

♥

right between the ribs, you’ll feel it then

It’s one hundred and nine degrees in this crowded room
No room to breathe with walls as cold as a gallery
This is no place for me
Such hard faces in smoke
The smell lingers in my clothes
It’s a bad night to be alone
But that’s the way it goes

For a Thursday today was reallllly good (: It wasn’t the best day I’ve had this week but I got the chance to talk to a lot of people I haven’t really seen around lately. During Bio we watched a video of a woman giving birth.. Elvina was so scarred haha she’s such a cutie! Even Juus was silent during the videos Mdm showed us.. Weaklings, all of them!!!

OH OH MY WATERMELON CAME TO SEE ME DURING BIO.. Shit I missed you David. Alot :(

haha aubrey is too cool for school! or just chem..

anna: ahh ok what pose should we do?
qi: OIL PAPER POSE!!!

:)

:) :) :)

 

The C Division rugby boys had a match against Pierce after school.. It was so exhilerating! God it’s been ages since I’ve been to such a fun rugby match. Maurice taught me this really cute game :) Alsooooo Hiro and Dahlburg were really amazing.. :) There was this stupid guy from Pierce who committed a really gay foul right infront of all the ACS Intl supporters.. After the referee blew the whistle he charged at one of our boys who was holding the ball and flung him to the ground.. Like wtf?! I hope someone kicked his face in.

yu-en is sooo cute omg soooooo cute

my two favourites.. :) i’m going to die when you guys leave :(

Btw, Priss is the biggest blonde ever. Thanks for today babexxx hehe I loved talking to you :) Sigh I’m so confuzzzzled.. :( I wish things were less complicated! I wish there was an easier way.

 

IAN AND I ARE GONNA WIN BEST DRESSED HIPPIEs ON SATURDAYYYY :)

the thought of you still makes me crazy

♥

now and again, it seems worse than it is

I don’t want to be a soldier
Who the captain of some sinking ship
Would stow, far below

So if you love me
Why’d you let me go?

These are just a few pictures from Saturday and Sunday.. You know, I spent the weekend making plans and then cancelling them. I wonder, sometimes, when people are going to stop asking me out, because it gets tiring trying to see the best in someone when all them show you is their worst.

♥

The week’s been really good so far :) Marcus and I exchanged shoes.. I don’t know how that’s physically possible actually because I mean seriouslyyy my feet are like size 4 and Marcus’s are like.. Size 11. Heh Marcus, doesn’t it remind you (fondly) of that time we exchanged phones..? :) I promise I won’t hurt your shoes!

Everyday, something happens which should surprise you. If you’ve found these surprises lacking recently, then, well, maybe you’ve should start appreciating the little things in life. Why wait for a miracle to make you smile? :)

don’t be a fool, girl, tell him you love him

♥

catch me if you can

I fell too, you know. I just forced myself to climb out before you did.

-

Tonight was the worst night of 2008. It was only made bearable because of Evan and William, two of the most awesome guys a person can ever, and will ever, find. I don’t know what I would’ve done without them. This paragraph does absolutely no justice to them, at all. But I don’t know how I can thank them, so I guess this will suffice for now.

I don’t know why anyone would ever love me. I am the most pathetic excuse for a friend. I don’t deserve the people I have, especially after the way I treat them. I am fucked up and there is honestly no way anyone could ever deny something so blatently true.

past the horizon, till i can’t even see you

When was this taken? I know it was at one of the musical rehearsals, sometime last year.. Things have really changed since then, yeah? I wish I could say something to make you smile, to make your blue days so much brighter. But I have lost my ability with words, and all I seem to be good at doing now is breaking things.

I hate seeing you sad, and I hate not being able to do anything to make you smile, especially since you always used to know exactly to say whenever I was upset. I’m sorry that you feel like hardly there for you, but just know that if you ever need me, I’ll be there before you can even ask. There’s so much I wish I could say to you, but please just know you mean alot to me, so much more than you’ll ever think. We’re not best friends anymore but you’ll always be my history boy.. Always :)

♥

so they say, but does the hero get the girl in the end?

Sometimes I feel lonely, even though I know I shouldn’t. Everywhere there are people who love you, but we spend so much time looking at our feet that it never occurs to us to look up.

urghh i hate tall people

haha biondi’s super gay shirt

I didn’t go to school yesterday- sorry Nick, Nico and Juus :( It was nice to spend some time doing absolutely nothing at home.. :) I was so disappointed after all our grand plans fizzled out, but trust the boys to make everything okay. I got a really funny call where like 5 of them were on the line and telling me “the plan for the night”. It was very random.. I ended up meeting Yanze, Nick, John, Biondi and Terence, then Daniel, then Masashi, Hans, Edward and Daniel’s brother but god, we bumped into so many people that it got kind of scary after a while.

john HATES my glittery slippers..

and he sucks at taking pictures

I’ve missed them, so much. It’s nights like these that remind me of those weeks during early March, where everything was new and exciting and happening at once.. Thinking about it now, it almost feels just like how it did back then. Almost.

♥

Hold on to the people who make you smile, because before you know it the smiles don’t come quite so easy anymore.

when you opened up, what you said, it was so sad
that no one would notice if you ran away

making friends with shadows on my wall

 When you try your best but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse.

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Hahaha today was such a strange day. I spent half of it laughing at stupid things and the other half being really excited for the weekend :) The entire lunch, Evan and I made fun of Rachel because of her new loverrr boy.. :) Heh I love you Star :) In a way it sort of reminded me of Russia, being with those two that is. Too bad EB and Kai weren’t there! They were always around everytime we talked about stupid things. It feels like it’s been an eternity.. Like EB said once, I don’t miss the place. But fuck, I miss the people.

:)

I imported all my old posts back into this blog.. It was too gay to have a blog just to store posts which I didn’t really want to keep. Something’s wrong with my old pictures though so I have to upload all of them again which really sucks..

There’s nothing interesting to write about anymore.

nobody said it was easy, but no one said it would be this hard

♥

When you’re too in love to let it go
But if you never try you’ll never know..